Your dog’s haircut costs as much (not MEN) as your haircut…
1. You don’t try to hump your Hairdresser’s leg.
2. Your hairdresser doesn’t wash your butt.
3. You don’t play chicken with a skunk right before your appointment.
4. You don’t pee, poop, or throw up in the hairdresser’s chair.
5. You don’t wait until you’re clean and dry to go potty and sit in it.
6. You don’t dig your fingernails into your hairdresser’s arm.
7. You don’t roll in dead things.
8. Your haircut takes 20-30 minutes; your dog’s takes much longer.
9. Your hairdresser doesn’t give you a manicure & pedicure.
10. Your Hairdresser only clips the hair on your head.
11. You don’t have fleas, ticks, or mites.
12. Your Hairdresser is not expected to comb out dreadlocks.
13. Your hairdresser doesn’t clean and pluck your ears.
14. You don’t try to bite or lick your hairdresser.
15. You stay still and don’t wiggle, jump and shake while being worked on with sharp scissors & tools.
16. You don’t come in with mud, burrs, sticks, tar, sap, gum, foxtails, and poop in your hair.
17. You don’t shake and cover everything (including your hairdresser) in 2 inches of soapy water.
18. Your Hairdresser doesn’t have to shave between your toes.
19. You can tell your Hairdresser if something’s wrong, she doesn’t have to guess.
20. You don’t poop whilst your Hairdresser is blow-drying your backside.
21. Your hairdresser doesn’t need to cuddle you and stroke you when you get nervous.
22. You don’t walk into your hairdresser with hair that hasn’t been brushed in 6 weeks (or 6 months).
23. You don’t scream at the top of your lungs every time the Hairdresser picks up a pair of nail clippers.
24. You don’t whip around in a frenzy as soon as your hairdresser goes to clip around your ears.
25. Your Hairdresser probably won’t love you if you do any of the above. (In fact they would probably have you arrested).